Looking For An Excuse

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Well I am a mess of emotions these days.

Last night my 13 year old daughter asked me how long before I leave for flight attendant training. I said three weeks. She then went up to her room, and came back down a minute later to tell me it was actually 18 days. The child loves to prove me wrong, but that is not what this is about. Hearing someone put the time into days rather than weeks made me so nervous! I got this pit in my stomach and my hands began to sweat. I had a little red wine and that went away…. .but still.

I haven’t had a lot of opportunities in life to experience this kind of terror/excitement at the same time. Closest I’ve gotten to it in the past twenty years is at Disneyworld at the top of a roller coaster, waiting for that thing to plummet down. I LOVE roller coasters, even though I usually close my eyes and scream at the top of my lungs the ENTIRE time! Hopefully I don’t revert to that comforting method during training.

I find it a confusing feeling because one has to decipher – which is it? Fear or excitement? In my case it is both. Unfortunately I am the kind of person who is always wondering what my feelings mean. Is my fear a sign I shouldn’t go? Is my excitement a sign I should? Sometimes I have to tell myself to be quiet and leave me alone.

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Everything is falling into place for me to leave, and that is really throwing me for a loop. The children will be cared for, I passed my online exam I had to take, I have memorized half of the airport codes I have to memorize by the first day. I have no more excuses. Maybe this is really an okay thing to do?

I was inspired this morning by a blog I follow…. Live, Dream, Inspire. You really spoke to me this morning, Lili! Thank you. 🙂 http://lilisr.com/2016/02/19/5-ways-to-be-happy/

Thanks for listening this morning. Some of you have been cheerleaders during my time of changes. Thank you! I’ll be bringing you with me in spirit as I study today and start my new career soon. (18 days to be exact. 😉 )