Aprons, Heels, and Yoga Pants

Extroverts suck at taking alone time.

I can only speak of my own experiences, and that’s how it is for this extrovert.

Due to my midlife crisis and constant confusion about what I want to be when I grow up….I thought a weekend alone in the city would be just what the doctor ordered – clear my head, do some writing, etc.. I’ve tried  this sort of thing before, and like I said, I suck at it.

My first evening alone I met a friend for dinner because I hate eating alone in restaurants. My counselor once recommended I take myself out to dinner. All alone. Just me. I don’t enjoy dating myself. I’m not my type.

The next morning I tossed and turned trying to sleep in the hotel which was way too quiet. I was exhausted and did not venture out to explore the Art Institute all alone as I had planned. I did however, order room service for breakfast and ate that in bed while watching TV. That alone is not so bad. It didn’t last long though as I called a friend and talked for about an hour. When else do I get quiet solitude to chat in peace?

I wrote nothing the entire time I sat in that quiet room. I actually thought I might lose my mind and couldn’t wait to get out.

My final day I took the train back home to spend the day with a friend, and it was the most refreshing day I’d had in a while.

Moral of the story? It’s ok. That’s the life of a true extrovert. I won’t find my answers when I am alone, because I thrive with people. People are the heart beat of my existence. Extrovert doesn’t necessarily mean outgoing and gregarious (although we often are) …the true meaning is one who is energized around people. Just as an introvert isn’t necessarily shy, but thrives during times of solitude.

I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to figure this out – but I don’t need alone time, I need get away time….but with people.

I’ll end by pointing out that years ago when I took a personality test, as my counselor showed me the results, graphed on a chart, he actually began giggling at my results. (never a good sign) I was plotted literally off the charts as an extrovert. That’s so me – always extreme, never subtle.

The blessing of age? Acceptance. It’s who I am and I am thankful for it. My friends would all stay home on Friday night if I wasn’t constantly telling them I need to get out!