Aprons, Heels, and Yoga Pants

Balance is one of my favorite words but I don’t know why. The word actually torments me. It’s quite the charade, really. I wear this necklace which says “Balance.” I hope as I wear it, the word somehow absorbs into my body and magically transforms my life. Instead, as soon as my feet hit the floor every morning, I begin chasing the ever elusive…balance.

What is balance anyway? Webster’s has a few definitions. When it comes to balancing life, I think this one fits…a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions. Plug in the important elements of your life, and that’s where you should hope to find balance.

I often ponder on the fact that maybe the elusiveness is it. That’s life. We search, run, and exhaust ourselves trying to find balance, peace, and rest. Then it all ends. I wonder how often true balance is truly achieved in a life. Maybe for Gandhi or Mother Teresa…But for the rest of us hamsters on the wheel…I’m not so sure.

Most days I have so many options of “things to do,” I stand frozen in the middle of my house, not sure where to start. It’s like all of the options are staring at me, competing, hoping they will be the chosen one. I choose one, and then I take off like I am in a race. My time is always limited due to children, family, friends, work, appts, etc… I am in constant hurry up mode. This is truly not an exaggeration.

I have always prided myself on the fact that I strive to NOT be the frazzled Starbucks mom. Sorry ladies. No offense. In our culture it seems to be a trophy….if you are running like crazy, coffee in tow, completely stressed because your children are each in multiple activities, exasperated from trying to give said children, plus a career, 100 % of you, then you must be a powerful woman.

What if we create a life where stress is low, children aren’t being pushed into over achievement, there is time to make dinner, and we drink Starbucks because it is relaxing and enjoyable, not just fuel to cure exhaustion ?? If we find balance, will we look like we’ve got it too easy? Will we lose the respect of our peers if we create time to meditate daily, exercise, and take care of ourselves….all while smiling and not running furiously? What if our children are home in the evenings, maybe reading great books, while their fellow students are at sports practices? Would that make me a bad parent? I don’t think so. I think it would make me the envy of many and quite an intelligent, purposeful, powerful mama.

Balance and power come from gaining control of our lives. We choose who and what gets a piece of us. The pull of children, a spouse if you are married, the home, the meals, the errands, lists, appointments, school activities and homework, our career….shall I go on?

We must prioritize. I must prioritize! I have somehow lost the balance I used to have. I matter. I count. No one else is going to live my life for me. It’s mine.

Taking a deep breath, and beginning once again, in search of balance. Because it’s okay to begin again and again and again, until we get it right…..until we make our life truly our life.