Why am I so emotional? Anyone who knows me well, knows I don’t cry easily. I am an empathetic person and I feel deeply. You just won’t see it often in the form of tears. It doesn’t mean I am not feeling it.
However, this morning, as my blurry eyes double checked the school schedules, (because the last week is confusing and hectic with finals and fun), I came to the realization that, praise God, due to a special cook out and pizza day, I didn’t have to pack lunches this morning! But wait….that’s it? I have been waiting all week to tuck cute little love notes into their lunches, which were to proclaim…way to go! You made it through the school year! Proud of you! My 9 year old would smile and show all of her friends. My teenagers would quickly shove it to the bottom of their lunch bag before anyone sees.
Instead, I swallowed a lump in my throat and wondered why on earth was I choking back tears? I was getting off scot-free from lunch duty. I hate making lunches. 6am, no caffeine, no shower, trying to create lunches that won’t go rancid, yet have some sort of healthy piece to them so if a teacher looks inside the bag they will be so impressed….and my child will eat the chips and bring the healthy items home. Clementines make great balls for trash basket shots.
I guess anytime anything ends or is completed, it strikes a chord. I have a second grader. Do you know how adorable second graders are? The shoes she wore on her first day of school no longer fit. She insists on growing. Seems like just yesterday my 13 year old was running around in costumes he created out of old shirts and paper towel tubes. Now he is concerned about getting his new Van’s dirty. My Freshman started the school year with a squeaky, changing voice. Now he is a man. He used to hug and kiss me, but now he hugs and kisses his girlfriend. My 16 year old is done growing. She’s a young lady now. I haven’t seen her act silly in months. She’s too serious for that now. It’s all healthy and good, but it puts that damn lump in my throat. Please. Slow. Down.
Positive thoughts….So now it is on to greener pastures. No more getting up at 6am. No more worrying about last minute late night grocery runs for school lunches the next day. No more homework. No more…”Mom I need this washed.”….at 10:00 at night. No more fear of being stopped by someone I know as I drop off the children while driving in bare feet and no bra.
Let summer commence. Time to stock the fridge with popsicles, and eat junk food all day long with no judgement. Ahhhh…..the little things in life.