I canceled everything today, to enjoy a rainy day at home with the kiddos. I haven’t had a full day at home in so long. I plan on getting lots done – but for now I am still in my pjs at 9:30am, in my bed, with a cup of tea, staring at a blank grocery list.
I have been sitting here, zoned out, trying to make huge life decisions. (the grocery list does this to me) I have prayed, and am waiting for God to send me a text with some answers. Life has recently given a few different path options. I think sometimes I hear Him saying, “Just pick one. They are all good and I will be here through whichever one you choose….but please…get on with it already!” It’s the story of my life.
Thankfully the sound of sweet angels, making who knows what in the kitchen, snaps me out of my deep, exhausting thoughts. There was an impromptu summer sleepover again last night, and apparently they are now hungry. I was a bit hurt when my daughter came into my bedroom and asked if I would go get donuts from the bakery. I responded with..”have you seen it outside?” She suggested an umbrella. So I reminded her to stick nothing metal in the toaster, and please close my bedroom door on your way out.
Have you ever been in a nerf gun war, and you are moving through the house, trying not to get hit? That is how I feel when I really need some alone time, but I have to walk from one end of the house to the other to do something. Picture this….just left my bedroom to go warm my morning tea…. opened my bedroom door and the dog is there, looking at me with those eyes that say, “walk please? I had breakfast, woman, I gotta go.” I apologize in a whisper, so as not to wake any more children, and head down the stairs. Teenage daughter hears me on the stairs…”Mom – are we still shopping today?” I let her know it is dark and rainy and I would love one day just at home. I get the usual, unemotional response of, “ok.” I assume I will be paying for her therapy some day. I make it downstairs with only two requests, (yes, I count the dog), turn the corner, and giggles abound. Truly, my daughter and her sweet friend often make my day with their constant smiles and fun. However…this morning I don’t want them to spot me. They are needy little buggers. Busted. Charlotte catches me at the microwave and asks if they can go on the trampoline. Not a bad request – but I just saw lightening. What a great day to build a fort, I suggest with a smile that says…”am I free to go now? ” It works. They squeal at my brilliant suggestion. So far so good, and the nine year old still likes me.
So I made it – safely back to my quiet bedroom and blank grocery list. Where are the boys in all of this, you may wonder? They sleep. And sleep, and sleep, and sleep. Their requests will begin around noon, and will consist of the 15 year old needing a ride somewhere, and the 13 year old looking for junk food and permission to download an app.
On a side note – my 15 and 16 year olds both started driver’s ed this week. That’s right – two at the same time. Did I consider this when I thought it was so nice that they were only ten months apart? (Lily is adopted) No…I did not. Double the cost, double the worry, double the teaching of driving skills for me. I envy planners. I am not one. It’s these times in life when I see my spontaneity isn’t so charming.
What were those big life decisions I was trying to make? I have no idea. Gone. My head is spinning with dog walks, toaster safety, a disappointed teenager, hungry kids, and how to convince all of my children to never drive and just stay home and build forts.
Milk…I’ll focus on the grocery list….baby steps.