Every once in a while I get an entire day at home. When this rare occasion happens, I can’t contain my excitement as I think…..”I get to clean the house!” I just didn’t see this strange love of domestication phase coming.
I’ll never forget a day in counseling many years ago, (nothing big – just working out some kinks), when my therapist sat with me to discuss the results of my Meyers Briggs personality test. It made me a bit nervous as he giggled while explaining my results. Yes, he seriously couldn’t contain his amusement as he told me I was off the charts passionate and extroverted. Not sure if he giggled out of fear or if he was looking forward to all of the money he could make if he were to write a book about me.
My point being – with my extroverted personality, I’m not the best at staying home. Well, at least I didn’t used to be. As I said, now I long for a day just to have enough time at home to clean a toilet. I know – that’s pretty sad. But moms…you get it. We don’t go to work and turn off our thoughts about the children and the house. While I am calling clients, I am also wondering what I’ll make for dinner, and who needs to go where after school. Years ago when I was knee deep in diapers, potty training, teething, nap times that couldn’t be missed…..then on to preschoolers, awkward tweens, and moody teenagers, I dreamt of a glamorous career. A career that would certainly involve my nails always being done and my shoes to always match my purse. I didn’t care what that career might be…just dress me up and please tell me I am great at what I do. As a stay at home mom, you never really are sure if you are doing your job correctly, and there are no special awards when you do. (although the rewards come quietly later as you watch your grown children become incredible people)
Well, now I have some cute work clothes and my nails are fabulous. As a bonus, I love my career. Real estate often has me on the road and I am constantly meeting new people. It is a perfect fit for this ridiculously social person. However, my heart will always be at home. How could it not? Since I was 21 years old I have been raising children and devoting my life to making each house we lived in, their home.
I guess that is why I so greatly appreciate those days when I can work from home or take a day off just to clean and make a yummy dinner for the kids. We run like crazy with school, work, practice, activities, errands, and appointments. Rare is the day that we are all home and just chilling out.
This week the cutest 9 year old in the world is home sick from school. Thank goodness I do have the flexibility to be here with her. I am loving it. I can work from my computer and phone, in between requests for snacks, drinks, and the occasional kiss on the cheek.
By the end of this week, I will for certain, be ready to get out. It’s how I operate. There will be homemade cookies in the cookie jar, my daughter will be loved back to health, (with the help of some Robitussin), the toilets will be clean and happy, and mommy will be ready to converse with adults, and sell some houses.
Moral of the story? The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Better yet….the grass is greener where you water it. Wherever you are at, water that grass. Nurture it – your children, your career, your relationships. It’s all good stuff. I like a lot of everything. I’m not good at giving a little here and a little there. I try to give everything to every area of my life. Yep, I sometimes get burnt out. But at almost 50 (what???) I am not going to change. Life is good, and unfortunately, like my youthful skin, it is fleeting.